Ben turned 3 months old this week and to mark the occasion he did something that honestly felt like it was months away. No, he didn’t say his first word or take his first step. Those events are minor compared to what he did. As a three month anniversary gift to us he slept the whole way through an episode of Succession.

That might not seem like a big deal to you. It especially won’t be a big deal to you if you don’t watch the show but I assure you it is. It took until episode 9. Thats eight weeks in a row where he somehow managed to interrupt the most important hour of the week. It was impressive. There was something about the theme music for the show that would jolt him into a rage. But he has over come it now. I think.

Over time he will learn how much I appreciated this kindness he bestowed on us. I guess he’s still getting to know us and we’re still getting to know him. I’ve learned a lot in three months and there are some things I’d like to make sure I follow through on in the next three months and beyond. So I would like to make a few promises to Ben. Here goes.

I will try not to talk about you too much. No one likes the parent who talks about their kid like they’re the only kid who has ever existed. Shoe horning their kid into conversations. “Relax, everyone knows you have a kid and he does kid like things, there’s no need to hijack a conversation about gardening with tales of your boy’s bowel movements.” Not that I have done that. I don’t think I have. I would never have a conversation about gardening.

I will try not to talk about you too little. There is a child related conversational sweet spot and I will find it.

I will promise to try not to use you as an excuse to avoid social situations. I’m absolutely going to do this, I just thought I should try not to. There is almost no better reason in the world to avoid going out than having a baby at home. It’s so easy! The excuse, not the baby part.

I will make sure I look after your mam. Parenting is hard work. It’s glorious, beautiful hard work. Your mam is taking care of you and doing an astounding job. I couldn’t do what she does.

I will make sure I look after myself.

I will continue to dress you in clothes that I like and you will have to continue to trust me which is a tough spot for you to be in because I will try to dress you like me. Which means there will be pictures of you forever in wrestling tshirts, football kits of teams you probably won’t support and tshirts with musicians on them that you will never willingly listen to.

I promise at some point in time I will stop smushing my face into yours. I’m constantly telling you how much I love you but I know you understand nothing of what I’m saying so I have taken to smushing my face into yours as much as possible because until you can understand my words and until I’m verbally able to explain the love I have for you I figured a face smush will do.

I promise to stop taking unflattering photos of you. Every parent thinks their kid is the most beautiful kid in the world and in a way they’re all right about that. Your kid is the most beautiful kid in the world. But you’ve all seen your kid make those faces, the ones you never want to commit to digital memory. Those fleeting moments where, in our case, it looks like your face is going to be swallowed by your chin and neck region and your eyes look like you’ve had one or six beers too many. We have taken a lot of those photos. They are outnumbered by the photos where you look like the most beautiful boy in the world. This would be the right time to post one of those photos but I won’t. I’ll wait till a significant birthday.

I will try to let you figure stuff out for yourself and not leap to your aid at the slightest hint of a struggle. You need to figure out how to do stuff and I need to figure out how to let you do that. Even now, you’re asleep beside me and as soon as you make a noise I jump to see if you’re ok. We need a compromise. I will always make sure you’re ok, but I will let you figure that out too.

I will make sure I do everything to remember this time. I know you will provide us with so much joy in your life but it’s very hard to imagine that you will every bring more joy than you do now when you smile at us. I will never hold you as much in your life as I do now, you won’t sleep on me anywhere near as much as you do now. Over time you will need me less than you do now so I want to make sure I hold onto these memories and these feelings.

Speaking of memories and feelings I should hold on to. There is one Succession episode left. A show I will remember forever. I’m sure I will remember how respectfully and dutifully Ben observed it’s final episode. If he doesn’t? If the rage returns? I promise I won’t hold it against him. For long anyway.